Revenge

 

Revenge is a nasty thing.. and ultimately hurts everyone… leaving one person bitter, and the other person hurt (physically, and/or emotionally). Revenge is never something that someone should pursue if they ultimately care about themselves.. and if they ever cared about the other person. Mostly because it lowers your own self value, esteem, ethics, and morals.

Technically, would you want to do that to yourself simply because someone has upset you and made you angry? Yes, it may be funny to think back on… but over all, its really sad. Try not to lower yourself to “their level.” The wrongs that they have done to you will be repaid someday, not by you… but by someone bigger, and higher out there. Not only do I believe in a fair, and “Just” God… but I believe in karma. Thus, its what you dish out that comes back for you to eat. Thats why you gotta be careful and make sure that what you give to others would be something that you might want to receive in return. Then, see post -Forgiveness.

Guess I shouldn’t write everything I think…

It’s like saying everything you think out loud. I mean I know it sounds almost oxymoronic but its a fair sentence, I promise.

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is to inform you that sometimes censoring the things you do, say, or even think might actually be the better idea.

Honestly, knowing when not to speak has always been a benefit to us as a people. But besides that, it’s kind of like Pastor Sam (the local pastor at the church I attend) said, “If you drive around with your LSU tag (college parking permit) on the car then you better not be doing anything bad!” As it is, more people pay attention then you think, more still are watching, and even more then that can still see you.

I was just sitting here blogging when I had an epiphany that was seemingly obvious but somehow jingled in the rear view mirror of my thoughts; It was the fact that I myself along with todays generation are so willingly plunging ourselves into a pool of strangers. Yes, the internet is in fact a danger, but somehow it has also become an addiction. 

I am curious to to understand how the internet could possibly be safer than many things… more specifically when I think of the harm that it has already caused.

I mean, the internet introduces people to many worldly things. Good, and bad. In my opinion the internet was made specifically as a place for freedom, expansion of learning, and unity through this media of communication. I too am addicted, however I feel like we aren’t actually thinking before we speak, or editing before we publish. 

Blogs typically started as online journals. To this day some people don’t want their identities revealed, yet they provide so much information. I’ll use myspace as an example. For those who do not know it is a social networking company that allows you to keep in contact with friends, or meet new people, making it possible for you to view their pictures, read blog entries, leave comments, messages, and more. It can be a positive or a negative experience based on why you’re there and exactly who you are talking to. However, strangers can view your site too. Yes, there is a choice that allows you to make your site public or private, however all it takes is a code (which I have seen with my own eyes!) to crack that shield straight onto your page, exposing all your “hidden” secrets. Thus, the “about me” section which is generally a summary of the person, their beliefs, possibly nationality, sports and hobbies, and so much more is now free for ANYONE with that code to see. Guess we don’t realize we are practically making our online trip STALKER FRIENDLY!

Now, stalkers aside. Police, and even potential employers are using social-networking companies to get to know who they would be interviewing. Often times, we might not even get the offer because of something they didn’t like, horrible pictures, vocabulary, or posting up our whole lives for the world to see. Why? For what?

I think mostly for curiosity and peer pressure because everyone else was doing it.. meeting boys and girls in their area and hooking up.

Now, the dangers have become more serious. Stalkers, and on the chance of being arrested for doing something you should never have been doing (be it underage drinking – caught via photo, hosting a party that had illigals there, or whatever). Or getting busted by your school who by the way practically force you to lie if you so chose to do anything that would be legal for any other person your age… For example: living off campus with your friends, drinking for your 21st birthday, missing curfew because you got in a fight with your boyfriend.

My point is, don’t be stupid about what you post up. It would be a good idea to stay legal to whatever documents you have signed your life away too… and if you so choose not to, then at least censor yourself.

Learn To Laugh At Yourself

My life is a comedy. Which sucks since I don’t even like comedies. Which means, life tends to go a different way than I expect it to. Now, the funny thing is that I can just see God up there watching and laughing at the irony of the whole picture of my world which is somewhat of a comic that you just can’t resist to laugh at… even when its you.

This is why, you’ve got to learn how to laugh at yourself. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself over the years.

My main focus this week has been on approach. The reason I chose that route to follow was because it is such a powerful word. According to english-test.net the definition of approach (noun) is: access; method; system; procedure. It is the way you go about doing something, and the path you choose to follow.

You can choose to be embarrassed in an awkward situation or simply laugh at yourself and take the stress off of the situation. Chances are that people will join in and laugh with you. Now aren’t you happy you made all those people smile? 

This is why I feel it is necessary that you learn early on that the moments when you don’t know what to say, and how to say it. A smile alone could save the moment. When you know how to laugh at yourself then you’ve gained a lesson that many people have a hard time facing. Sometimes it’s a more serious situation where it could be vital for whatever reason and you need an escape route. Be two steps ahead of the crowd. You laugh first. People join in.

In closing, a wise man once said laughter is the best medicine.

Picking Your Battles

If you’re human, chances are you’ve had a little spat or two in your life time… or if you’re like me, maybe a simple “few” would be an understatement of the day. Either way, I’ll ask a small favor of you in return for you’re success. You see, all I’m doing is thinking what’s best for you. It’s simple, just read a long and answer the questions I have below and you too can learn how to pick your battles:

Recall for me a situation that led everyone in the room to retreat to the opposite corners of the earth.

Now give a bad example of how to respond to the given situation.

Tip: Thinking about what you are going to say is a great idea because you have already had a chance at applying what you would say and how they would respond. This way you can weigh out your options before the problem becomes to serious. Putting people on the spot, or shooting out random accusatory statements will alienate the people who you care about, and your words (even if they are true) are more likely to go unheard simply based on the approach that your opponent (person you are arguing with) found offensive.

Now, give me a good example of how to properly handle the bad situation from above.

Tip: Listening to the opponent on their viewpoint even if you disagree with them not only makes it hard for them to get upset but shows a quality of fairness in your character. Thus, making it easier for them to want to listen to you in return. This alone is an accomplishment that has allowed you to continue your goal in a method that may be more satisfactory to you.

Now, the number one thing to remember before you handle any kind of negative and/or awkward situation is that you must always do it “with care.” This takes you up one level to where you’re first new question awaits: “What approach will I be choosing?” Because, you see… every choice of words that you choose will take you down a different path of reaction.

If a person is upset when they say something to you; It is important to remember that YOU initially and ultimately are the person who sets the setting. Your options include, but are not limited to 1)retaliation with words that could never be recovered [regret] 2)comforting them and asking them what the problem is [consider the issue] 3) asking them what you can do to make it better [approach the problem] 4) weigh out the options and 5) respond.

Other important factors would include the value of the relationship (be it friends, sweethearts, family, bosses, or acquaintances). In this case, questions to ask would be: How serious has this discussion made itself? Will this be a topic that will continue to heat up? Will we ever find resolution? Can we meet in the middle? Are you willing to accept that you could lose this relationship, or your job? And Is this fight worth it?

Constantly remind yourself what exactly it is you are fighting about. When the fight escalates you might agree it can become quite silly very quickly.

If you’re a lady, try to be ladylike.
If you’re a gent, try to be a gentleman.

Always give the kind of respect that you want. 
Take no less than the kind of respect that you give.

Accept what you learn if you think it’s right, and apply it.