Revenge is a nasty thing.. and ultimately hurts everyone… leaving one person bitter, and the other person hurt (physically, and/or emotionally). Revenge is never something that someone should pursue if they ultimately care about themselves.. and if they ever cared about the other person. Mostly because it lowers your own self value, esteem, ethics, and morals.

Technically, would you want to do that to yourself simply because someone has upset you and made you angry? Yes, it may be funny to think back on… but over all, its really sad. Try not to lower yourself to “their level.” The wrongs that they have done to you will be repaid someday, not by you… but by someone bigger, and higher out there. Not only do I believe in a fair, and “Just” God… but I believe in karma. Thus, its what you dish out that comes back for you to eat. Thats why you gotta be careful and make sure that what you give to others would be something that you might want to receive in return. Then, see post -Forgiveness.


Behind the Scenes: Women & Rings!

a jaffe

The infamous question that women bicker about when men aren’t in the room….

Why is it such a painful and difficult experience, yet not such an important matter when it comes to details like engagement rings (which include expenses – which actually prolong the question’s occurrence)?

For clarification: this post is written so that men can understand why women put importance on a ring. I am not trying to say you must purchase a big ring over a little ring. I am trying to say that the best choice would be to get your girl the ring that you know she desires. Big, or small… it doesn’t matter. 

Often times a woman wants a beautiful diamond because it makes her feel appreciated, loved, secure, and confidant. Another upside to it is that she can share the precious stone for all her friends to see, making them proud that she has finally “found a man who truly loves her, and wants to make her happy” and whom she loves the same in return. It also allows for her to then brag about how special and wonderful a man you really are.

So then, the sad thing is that there are in fact “gold diggers” which have ruined the sanctity of the marriage, and the ring. Many of us however don’t feel this way and would be so hurt to be mistaken and/or assumed to be gold diggers! Chances are if you don’t have much money to begin with, and the girl knows this and she’s still with you then she’s not diggin’ for gold! She’d be elsewhere if she were. Seems like common sense, doesn’t it? Some people haven’t noticed.

In cases where you would buy a stone, keep in mind that it is a sign of love, and sacrifice. It is proof that he can support her, and try to give her the life that he thinks that she truly deserves… and if he loves her, he’ll go to the ends of the earth for her… as she should do for him!

Think about it this way, if someone means a lot to you, be it mom, dad, brother or sister, girlfriend or boyfriend, you want to give them the very best gift you could give them… you want it to be something that they will absolutely love! And when they buy you something, they have those same intentions for you. If they didn’t then what would be the point of gifts? It would be no fun to give, or receive if neither parties enjoyed what was being given or gifted.

Believe it or not it is a traditional thing that we look forward to. Another perspective is that if something means so much to us, then it should mean something to you too… and vise vera. Which is why we work together and try to make the things we want to occur to happen. Truth is, that this is really how many of us woman think guys!

Keep in mind that we will be wearing that rock around our finger for the rest of our lives! So, why not get what we like, I mean, we’ll have to look at it every day, and everyone else will see it too. Marriage is for the long run, it is meant to never end… which happens to be the only reason you should ever join in the “unity” in the first place!

Remember that the first question your girl will receive after a proposal will be, “Can I see your ring?!” or “What’s it look like?” And let me tell you first, if its somewhat pathetic, it becomes embarrassing to wait for the response… like “Oh. Uh. Thats nice,” as opposed to “OH! Wow!! It’s beautiful!”

The ring is a symbol which is often times not thought about seriously enough by some men.  Another important thing to remember is that the ring means absolutely nothing to us if it was not given from the bottom of their heart, with intentions of making us happy. It is when a man truly cares that you hear not a single complaint of how much it cost… but you see them working hard to accomplish something they knew would make you happy, which in turn should make them happy too.

I suppose that one of the reasons we get so confused with the fact that “ring shopping” is so difficult is if it “has to be” something nice… which eventually overwhelms us because we can see what you men are buying when you say you have no money. It makes it seem like the things that would make us happy are irrelevant. Hence, when you buy a gazillion new things and then go on random shopping sprees after you have said you didn’t have any money it is a little baffling to think there was no time even for a nice evening dinner at a fancy restaurant every once in a while, or something that the girl would actually enjoy.

A quote I found from Hannah Moore is very helpful to explain where I am coming from on this subject saying, “Love never reasons but profusely gives; gives, like a thoughtless prodigal, its all, and trembles lest it has done too little.”

If the ring of choice that your woman wants (be it big or small) is too big of a sacrifice for you to handle, then your love is probably not deep enough for her. Chances are, if you give her a small ring, when she wanted a big one, she will still love you, and want to be with you if she truly loves you… but why not go the extra mile to make her happy if you truly love her in return?

It’s not something you run and do at any moment. This is why engagements are planned… which is why a man typically is the one who proposes… it gives him time to make sure that he is “ready” to get married (to avoid any mistakes), that he has enough money to support her (even if she has a job), and to support the family (if they choose to have one), and if he wants to give her the ring (which happens to be a symbolism for lack of better word -for life, love, and support) that she deserves, he can have time to SAVE up for it, then pop the question if and when he’s able and ready.



People say that forgiveness is something to be earned, something that is only given when asked for, and only to those who deserve it… but I disagree. Forgiveness is something that helps us to understand ourselves better through discovering how far we are willing to go to forgive others… especially if they won’t forgive you. If you want to be forgiven for the things that you’ve done wrong, then you too must forgive others to the same degree that you would want, or even expect in return.

It’s like the golden rule says, “Do unto others as you want them to do to you.” I honestly can’t remember the last time I even thought about what that rule really means… its so simple really, but crucial to the growing and expansion of our minds.

Sometimes we forget that it is when a friend hits a rough patch that they need you most. It’s when they are low and feeling down, and have wronged you that they need you to be there for them, and bestow upon them your forgiveness. They are delicate, and vulnerable.

We forget that even though heaven isn’t attained through “good works,” that a good life is, and doing something nice for others is favorable in God’s eyes. We forget sometimes that memories fade, and seasons change, but the things we learned through experience we will carry on with us forever.

This is why it is a valuable lesson to remember to:

  • reach out and give a hand to one in need, giving hope, and offering peace. 
  • stretch your arms out to someone who needs a hug, extend an invitation to a person that seems lonely, and if you see someone without a smile give them yours… 🙂 small steps make huge differences!
After all,  you never know the difference that can be made in that small moment of time that might never present itself again. Find opportunities, not trials. Find happiness and share it with others.

And when the moment of truth comes to question: “Was I there for others? Did I show love, peace and compassion?” You will know what to find because “what goes around, comes around.” So always forgive others when they need to be forgiven and realize that it’s not really for them… It’s for you, so that you can move on, and live life carefree with out holding grudges. To prepare your heart, and your mind to allow them to be healthy, and optimistic… And God will smile upon you; because He loves you and recognizes that you are growing and learning that if He can forgive US for all we’ve done, then we can find it in our hearts to forgive everyone who wrongs us in return. In closing, an unknown author said: “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Are we strong enough?

people make mistakes

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover…


Jessie Wilcox Smith

You never really know what’s really inside of the cover or what exactly it really is that people are reading anyhoo. People have walls up for a reason. All which vary from person to person. Some people just like living in solitaire, while others have been broken time and time again. As you have probably figured this isn’t really about books. It’s about judgement. 

I don’t know about you but I’ve overheard people talking about a person that they’ve never met as they walk by. “Ah.. she looked stuck up,” or “ugly.” Even things like, “Did you see that girl yelling at that guy and hit him upside the head! That was so funny!”

Now, lets take those situations and put them into context. What if the girl who looked “stuck up” just lost her father in a car wreck when he had just picked up her two kids from school, one of her kids suffered from a few bruises and a broken arm, while the other kid was presently in a coma. The only way for her to cope with it was to hold her head up high and walk her stride to work hoping to keep her mind busy simply to keep her heart from aching. Would you dare call her stuck up now?

Now, what about the girl who was yelling at the guy and hit him upside the head… she was walking down the hallway at the mall and came out from around a corner, before you saw her the man had grabbed her butt and pushed her attempting to steal her purse. For her own protection she was screaming for help, and when you saw her she hit him across the head and he took off. Would you still laugh? Or would you feel sorry for her unfortunate situation?

The point is that sometimes we look at people from the outside without any knowledge or insight as to what is in the inside of their worlds. What is actually going on in their lives. Sometimes, even not caring. Which brings me to my next point, it is so sad that we can go on this way. Cursing our own people, and managing to laugh or smile at their misfortunes.

Next time, just think about the time when someone saw only part of something you did and therefore, misunderstood the entire situation, and you were embarrassed. Then maybe, instead of laughing, you will assist them and keep them in your hopes for better days.

Is your heart enough?

sharing life logo

I joined the American Heart Association this past week and am now an advocate promoting help for people with heart issues… even though I have none, other than a minor condition, I wonder if it is only in my thoughts that I resist taking the time to care for others then they would for me.

If we don’t make time for the things that actually matter, then we as a nation have failed ourselves. Please help with funding by making it possible to help even one soul survive. Make a conscious effort to make the world a better place, one step at a time.

What righteous cause will you put your efforts forth into? Do you have a heart big enough to help others? Is there a charity that can fill the hunger you have for helping people?

There are so many things you can do. Different causes which require different kinds of attention. Are you a writer? You could help inform people of the need for advocating for whatever charity you believe in.

There’s the RainforestSite which allows you to help the rainforest, animals, children, literacy, breast cancer, and hunger causes just by simply clicking the boxes on the top of the sites. They make it so easy, so convenient. 

Do we have time? Are our hearts big enough to make time for situations like these which matter?

Not only does the RainforestSite allow you to help save the planet one little story at a time, but they even have fun gifts that you could by for your family and friends and they will feel even more special because their gift was paid for the purpose of a charity, with thoughts of them!

Still searching for other ways to be charitable? You could consider a Blood Bank, or even being an Egg Donor or Sperm Donor! Click the links to find any of the centers in your area. They may seem not so important, but your blood could be the reason that someone can survive, your eggs, or sperm could be the miracle of birth, and someone’s mom or dad along with someone’s child, or grandchild will be thanking you for the benefits you provided them with –the opportunity of life.

That there, is a big enough reason to want to help others in need :).

Then there is donations. You could donate to many different locations, and it could be for food, clothing, shelter, education, whatever it is that your heart desires! Here is where you could help find cures to save children, St. Jude.

Good luck, and take this seriously. Even if it means giving up your nice cold juicy apple to a homeless man in the hot summer. Chances are you’ll get another one before you notice its gone, and he will be thankful to have received it!

Hula Hoops Make Me Happy

Photo from

You think thats impressive? I dare you to try it, simple, around your waste! You will surely think it is amazing…

The hula hoop is a toy hoop, usually made of plastic, that is twirled around the waist, limbs, or neck (definition provided by google). The hoop was invented by Wham-o Corporation who released the product in 1958.

The term “Hula” was adapted from the Hawaiian dance and was first associated to the toy after people saw the close relations to the cultural dance and the hoop.

Did you know that the balls inside aren’t even really there for a purpose other than the “shoop-shoop sound effect!” I kid you not! That there was a quote.

Not only is the hula hoop a good recreational activity, but a healthy sport. It can be a really fun and healthy habit which could also make you flexible.

The hula hoop is a lot harder than it seems! I remember when I was little I really enjoyed it. So naturally, when I saw one in the store this weekend I bought it, figuring it would be especially fun and a “piece of cake” with my hula experience! I was right, and wrong! I didn’t remember ever struggling with it before, thus, it taught me to admire kids for their energy and coordination! And at first my hips were out of sync with the hoop catching on my clothes and tripping over my shoes. I felt like a kid again! And of course after a few more try’s I finally got it :). It was great!

Another plus is that the hula hoop most definitely teaches you how to laugh at yourself while providing a smile for anyone else who is watching.

Now, I can give you a tip! The moment you start worrying about how you look or what other people are thinking is when the whole thing collapses and the game is all over! So just don’t pay attention. Let yourself loose, have fun, and feel free!

To learn more about the hula hoop click here.

Sunshine Exposure!

sun photo from

So apparently new research studies say that you are more likely to live longer and have better health results if you seek opportunities to stay out in the sun at least 15 minutes daily (front, then back). Your benefits should “outweigh” the chances of you getting skin cancer.

Don’t believe me? Check it out. However, I don’t know if the writer is legit or not since there are so many grammatical errors for a so-called professional company. But, with all the researchers that were named I do think so.

Now go outside and enjoy yourself! The sun is a pleasant thing. Especially around this time of year when the breeze is still around. Take a little sunblock and go swimming, or play a sport. Who cares! Just get out there and have fun!