The infamous question that women bicker about when men aren’t in the room….
Why is it such a painful and difficult experience, yet not such an important matter when it comes to details like engagement rings (which include expenses – which actually prolong the question’s occurrence)?
For clarification: this post is written so that men can understand why women put importance on a ring. I am not trying to say you must purchase a big ring over a little ring. I am trying to say that the best choice would be to get your girl the ring that you know she desires. Big, or small… it doesn’t matter.
Often times a woman wants a beautiful diamond because it makes her feel appreciated, loved, secure, and confidant. Another upside to it is that she can share the precious stone for all her friends to see, making them proud that she has finally “found a man who truly loves her, and wants to make her happy” and whom she loves the same in return. It also allows for her to then brag about how special and wonderful a man you really are.
So then, the sad thing is that there are in fact “gold diggers” which have ruined the sanctity of the marriage, and the ring. Many of us however don’t feel this way and would be so hurt to be mistaken and/or assumed to be gold diggers! Chances are if you don’t have much money to begin with, and the girl knows this and she’s still with you then she’s not diggin’ for gold! She’d be elsewhere if she were. Seems like common sense, doesn’t it? Some people haven’t noticed.
In cases where you would buy a stone, keep in mind that it is a sign of love, and sacrifice. It is proof that he can support her, and try to give her the life that he thinks that she truly deserves… and if he loves her, he’ll go to the ends of the earth for her… as she should do for him!
Think about it this way, if someone means a lot to you, be it mom, dad, brother or sister, girlfriend or boyfriend, you want to give them the very best gift you could give them… you want it to be something that they will absolutely love! And when they buy you something, they have those same intentions for you. If they didn’t then what would be the point of gifts? It would be no fun to give, or receive if neither parties enjoyed what was being given or gifted.
Believe it or not it is a traditional thing that we look forward to. Another perspective is that if something means so much to us, then it should mean something to you too… and vise vera. Which is why we work together and try to make the things we want to occur to happen. Truth is, that this is really how many of us woman think guys!
Keep in mind that we will be wearing that rock around our finger for the rest of our lives! So, why not get what we like, I mean, we’ll have to look at it every day, and everyone else will see it too. Marriage is for the long run, it is meant to never end… which happens to be the only reason you should ever join in the “unity” in the first place!
Remember that the first question your girl will receive after a proposal will be, “Can I see your ring?!” or “What’s it look like?” And let me tell you first, if its somewhat pathetic, it becomes embarrassing to wait for the response… like “Oh. Uh. Thats nice,” as opposed to “OH! Wow!! It’s beautiful!”
The ring is a symbol which is often times not thought about seriously enough by some men. Another important thing to remember is that the ring means absolutely nothing to us if it was not given from the bottom of their heart, with intentions of making us happy. It is when a man truly cares that you hear not a single complaint of how much it cost… but you see them working hard to accomplish something they knew would make you happy, which in turn should make them happy too.
I suppose that one of the reasons we get so confused with the fact that “ring shopping” is so difficult is if it “has to be” something nice… which eventually overwhelms us because we can see what you men are buying when you say you have no money. It makes it seem like the things that would make us happy are irrelevant. Hence, when you buy a gazillion new things and then go on random shopping sprees after you have said you didn’t have any money it is a little baffling to think there was no time even for a nice evening dinner at a fancy restaurant every once in a while, or something that the girl would actually enjoy.
A quote I found from Hannah Moore is very helpful to explain where I am coming from on this subject saying, “Love never reasons but profusely gives; gives, like a thoughtless prodigal, its all, and trembles lest it has done too little.”
If the ring of choice that your woman wants (be it big or small) is too big of a sacrifice for you to handle, then your love is probably not deep enough for her. Chances are, if you give her a small ring, when she wanted a big one, she will still love you, and want to be with you if she truly loves you… but why not go the extra mile to make her happy if you truly love her in return?
It’s not something you run and do at any moment. This is why engagements are planned… which is why a man typically is the one who proposes… it gives him time to make sure that he is “ready” to get married (to avoid any mistakes), that he has enough money to support her (even if she has a job), and to support the family (if they choose to have one), and if he wants to give her the ring (which happens to be a symbolism for lack of better word -for life, love, and support) that she deserves, he can have time to SAVE up for it, then pop the question if and when he’s able and ready.